Board Thread:General Nerf discussion/@comment-30628894-20161219154814/@comment-27306930-20170126024503

I forgot all about this thread. I've had a couple drinks, so lemme say some horrible things about some blasters.

OMG, the FalconFire (facepalm). Somehow, Hasbro took ALL the things I hate about the IonFire and made them bigger, bulkier, aaand wimpier. Good job, has-bros, good job. Single shot, breech load, bend the darts to shove 'em in there, stiff priming action, crappy unusable sight that's fragile, and enough unnecessary faux barrel to make another blaster out of. And if you can hit me at 17 feet with a stock FalconFire, I'll pay you a hundred bucks. Well, okay, I won't. At twenty five feet, we might have a deal.

Oh wait, some Einstein in marketing packaged the FalconFire with six ridiculously overpriced pink darts that are almost as accurate as my 9¢ Rads. But bummer, they don't shoot nearly as far. And they're pink. Okay, okay, you say tomatoe, I say tomato. They might be peach. But Cheezits H Christmas, they're effeminate as heck (apologies to my Y-chromosomally challenged Nerf heads). They should have just made 'em in lavendar. And scented too.

There, after a post like this, I challenge you to snatch that pebble from my hand Yoshi. Hah !